
"We Love
because He
first
Loved us."
1 John 4:19
Preparing for Marriage
Articles
....Christ came to earth and died on the cross, not so that we could avoid death and suffering, but so that he could transform the inevitability of death and suffering from the inside out. By communion with him, by participation in his cross, we could receive eternal life.
Fr. Mike Schmitz, in this 6 min. video, talks on suffering as sharing in a "sliver of the cross".
How many times as a parent have we wished that we could alleviate our child’s suffering? Our
God-given nature to love and protect our child kicks in to high gear when he or she faces trials.
The valentine has become the universal symbol of friendship and affection shared each anniversary of the priest's execution -- St. Valentine's Day. Valentine has also become the patron of engaged couples.
One of the most pernicious lies of the modern world is that life is supposed to be easy and comfortable. There is even a sense in which moderns believe they are entitled to this comfort and ease—that it is some sort of fundamental human right.
Family- the people God gave us to travel to Heaven with! We all have a part to play and it is important for each family member to participate in prayer, work, play and family rules(see #10) . Expecting each family member to contribute through age appropriate chores, recreation and prayer gives them dignity knowing they are needed and cherished in their God-given family. “The true Christian home is an altar of sacrifice and a theater of comedies and drama; it is a place of work and a haven of rest." Rev. George A. Kelly
Last Friday, I watched my husband Shawn teach our 7-year old daughter, Violet, how to ride her bike without training wheels. Shawn travels throughout the week for work and, come Friday, is fairly tired. So when Violet asked him at 4pm if he would take the training wheels off her bike and teach her to ride it, I could sense his hesitation. He really wanted to sit on the front steps with me and a beer and just enjoy watching our kids play.
The next big piece of the porn-proofing puzzle is actually putting some safeguards into place for the inevitable exposure to pornography.
Of course we’ll talk filtering software, parental controls, etc., but the bigger piece of the puzzle actually takes place internally, for the child whose will and mind and character are being formed and cultivated by loving parents and by humane, comprehensive education that respects and recognizes the whole person.
Pornography isn’t “someone else’s problem;” it’s our problem. It’s my problem and your problem and the guy across the street’s problem. It’s your barista’s problem and the 2nd grade teacher’s problem, and it might just be your spouse’s problem, too.
Pornography is now more popular than baseball. In fact, it has become America’s pastime, and we are awash in it. Porn is on our computers, our smartphones, and our cable or satellite TV. It’s common in our hotels and even in many retail stores and gas stations. For many men — and, increasingly, women — it is part of their daily lives.
Let’s talk about porn. I know it it’s an uncomfortable subject, but ignoring it will do no good. The fact is, pornography addiction is a massive and growing problem—especially for men. If you don’t believe me, here are some shocking statistics:
- 12% of websites online are pornographic
- Every second, over 28,000 people are looking at porn
- 40 million Americans are regular porn viewers
- 70% of men aged 18-24 regularly look at porn
Harbor of Hope is a spiritual support group for family and friends that have a loved one who is experiencing same sex attraction. As family and friends, we meet with charity and compassion to seek understanding and support. We follow the teachings of the Church and choose to love and share the Truth with compassion as Jesus taught.
“Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your request known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard you hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7.
This Scripture passage became my life source. Plagued by anxiety, worry, or doubt I recited this passage and remembered to pray—lifting my burdens up, I was assured I would be filled with peace transcending human comprehension.
Shout joyfully to the LORD, all you lands; serve the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful song. Psalm 100:1-2
- Pray about where and how your family is called to serve. How can we best use the gifts and talents God has given us at this time in our life? We are not called to do everything – especially all at once. Look for opportunities that fit your family’s ages and talents.
- Adopt the attitude a pastor has with his brother priests . . . “Outdo one another in generosity.”
- Modeling service toward spouse and children is how we best teach. Our children will learn to serve by our witness of selfless service to our spouse, children and community and providing them with opportunities to do the same.
A true story told from the perspective of a birth Mother and adoptive Mother in the State of NH with appreciation from their daughter.
From the Birth Mom Putting my baby up for adoption was the most difficult decision of my life. I was young and irresponsible. I deeply regretted getting pregnant. Deep down I knew how important it was for a child to have good parents and a good upbringing. I knew I was not that person and my baby deserved better.
When the time came to give birth, I regret deeply that I chose to not see or hold my baby.
Adoption was simply a miracle of life for us. It allowed us to overcome infertility!
After realizing our family would not grow biologically, we investigated our options and chose to adopt. We had a negative image of adoption - bad press, a lengthy and bureaucratic time-line, the unforeseeable surprises and disappointments along the way. However, once we accepted these challenges and decided to jump in anyway, we began the count down to growing our family, God willing.
Our decision to choose adoption over IVF was not a difficult one, in that we had discussed the issue prior to marriage, but it wasn’t without some significant questioning on our part.
Since before we first met each other, we both wanted to live our lives according to church teaching. As a couple who married in our mid/late 30’s, we were aware that there were no guarantees of successful pregnancies.
In sharing his thoughts on money and childrearing, Stan from Hawaii said philosophically, “It is more important to have a high level of living than a high standard of living.” Marilyn from Oregon agreed. “Buying things is no substitute for time and love. Kids can’t be fooled. They would much rather have us attend their school program, for example, than miss it because we are working late so they can wear a designer label on their clothes.”
From the time I was in medical school I have always been fascinated with family medicine and obstetrics. My mother worked as a nurse mid-wife for many years and maybe this kindled this interest in me. I was also very fortunate to get good formation and spiritual direction during my medical school. This made it clear to me how I should live and practice my profession, always trying to live unity of life.
I look back over the last 46 plus years and wonder, "What in Heaven's name made us think our marriage would work?" It had to be the miracle of grace! We were (and are) as different as day and night; one from the city, one from the country; one grounded in science and what the eye could see, one in philosophy and things beyond sight. Certainly our parents were hesitant and baffled.
Resources for Those Preparing for Marriage
OUR FAVORITE BOOKS & ARTICLES
- These Beautiful Bones: An Everyday Theology of the Body - Emily Stimpson
- Men, Women and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II's Love and Responsibility- Edward Sri
- The Temperament God Gave You - Art Bennett, Laraine Bennett
- The Temperament God Gave your Spouse - Art Bennett, Laraine Bennett
- When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love -Gary D Chapman, Jennifer M. Thomas
- The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman
- Three to get Married – Bishop Fulton Sheen
SEXUALITY
- Sexual Common Sense – 12 Talk Series - Janet Smith
- Contraception: Why Not – 3rd Edition – Cracking the Contraceptive Myths - Janet Smith
- Real Love, 2nd Edition, Answers to Your Questions on Dating, Marriage and the Real Meaning of SexMary Beth Boracic
- The Pornography Epidemic, A Catholic Approach - Peter Kleponis, Ph.D
- Delivered - True Stories of Men and Women Who Turned from Porn to Purity - Matt Fradd
- Integrity Restored - Restoring Integrity to those affected by porn
BUILDING VIRTUE
- The Virtue Driven Life - Fr. Benedict Groeschel
- Learning the Virtues - Fr. Romano Guardini
TIME AND MONEY
- Time Management for Catholics – Dave Durand
- Seven Steps to becoming Financially Free – Phil Lenahan
- Financial Peace Revisited – Dave Ramsey (Please note that Dave speaks from a Christian perspective. He has several publications on money that are very good. )
OUR FAVORITE WEBSITES
FERTILITY & REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH
- Fertility Care Centers of America
- NaProTECHNOLOGY
- Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction
- Couple to Couple League
PRO-LIFE RESOURCES
- 40 Days for Life
- Human Life International - Pro-life Missionaries to the World
- Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction
FINANCIAL RESOURCES
- Veritas Financial Resources
- Dave Ramsey (Christian)
CATHOLIC NEWS & EVENTS
MEDIA RESOURCES
- Movie Reviews
- Covenant Eyes - Internet Accountability and Filtering Software
OUR FAVORITE Blogs
FOR ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Video Library for those Preparing for Marriage
Protecting Families and Teens from the Culture of Porn with Dr. Peter Kleponis. hosted by St. Joseph Catholic Family Center
Young couples talk about their reasons for getting married in the Catholic Church.
This video is intended to give a brief glimpse behind the truth about NFP as seen through the eyes of real couples actually practicing and teaching its beautiful gift to marriages.
Pray without ceasing. . . what does this mean? Can we really pray constantly as St. Paul tells us to do in this verse? Most of us are not cloistered―we live in this very busy world―a world full of high expectations and productivity ―a world in which we run from activity to activity―a world in which we are bombarded with constant media. I know that I easily get caught up in filling my day to overflowing.